Thursday, February 7, 2013

If I'm a Muppet, I'm a very manly Muppet

Banshee.  It's a new show on Cinemax, and I can't seem to stop watching it.  It's an awful, horrible show though.  I mean, I've read better fan-fic written by a tween. 

The series is written by a man. 

I don't need to go check to know this, nor do I have to pay attention to the credits.  Everything about the series screams "This is how men should live!".  The main character has had sex with a different woman in every episode thus far.  Random, irresponsible, unexplainable sex with strangers with no visible effort spent on his part to get the women, they just throw themselves upon his dick.  There is a gratuitous female masturbation scene, interposed with flashbacks of her receiving a necklace from her ex-boyfriend.  I could be completely off base here, but is that seriously what you women think about when you feel the urge to self-abuse?

The action, if you can call it that, is similarly ridiculous.  Genuinely unbelievable violence, like a bus coming out of nowhere to flip and slide down the road in the pilot.  It feels like it's there simply because the writer (who in my mind at this point is either a teen frat boy, or some pathetic simp trying to overcompensate) put it in because "Hurr, hurr, that was cool."    The physical acts alone that the lead performs stretch the boundaries of belief, especially since we're supposed to believe he's been in prison for 15 years.

The plot, God help me, is just convoluted.  The premise alone is hard enough to swallow in the Information Age (ex-con impersonates sheriff), and the plot never seems to coalesce properly around the concept.  The twists are either broadcast well in advance, or take you completely by surprise because there is no plausible reason for the twist to exist beyond the writer trying to prove he's smarter then the viewer.  With the exception of the main character (who's so 2 dimensional it's impossible to screw up), the characters are inconsistent from one episode to the next, which just further adds to the confusion.  This is painfully clear in the female lead, who swings between terrified mother and wife trying to stay in hiding and hardened ex-con with full use of her skills over the course of each episode.

Somehow, even after listing it's flaws, I just can't bring myself to stop watching though.  It's reached train wreck status for me, where I just have to see how much worse it can possibly get.

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